In This Article

• How a simple grocery store experience revealed the power of expectation.
• Why changing your expectations can transform your relationships and daily life.
• How your mind becomes programmed by the beliefs you repeat.
• The hidden danger of saying "always" about yourself or your circumstances.
• How choosing which thoughts to believe can help create the life you truly want.
  
  

A friend was sharing with me the other day his observation on how sometimes he'd go to a store and there would be no one in line, and other times there would be a long line at the checkout. He theorized that this was part of group mind, or group timing. While this can be somewhat true based on planetary influences, I think there is more to it than that.

I shared with him an experience I had recently. I had gone into a store and, as I walked in, saw that the checkout counters were loaded. Each one had a long line of people, longer than I had ever seen.

I chose to focus my thoughts on the fact, or you might say possibility, that by the time I was done with my shopping, the line would have thinned out and I would sail right through the checkout process.

I didn't have much shopping to do as I was only getting some fruits and vegetables, so when I was done I wheeled my cart toward the front and saw that the line was still long. So I decided to go up and down a few aisles to see if there was something I had forgotten to get, or perhaps just to discover something the store carried that I didn't know it had.

So I did, and I discovered a couple of things that interested me, such as organic products I didn't know this particular store carried. I didn't buy any at that time because I didn't need them, but I was now aware that I could buy them there.

Having completed that process, I wheeled my cart back to the checkout counters and, lo and behold, there was nobody in line at any of them.

Was that coincidence? Many people would say so. But it reminded me of something I had discovered years earlier about the power of expectation.

Changing Expectations

I recall experimenting with this power of focus, using the mind to change what was happening in my life many years ago during my first marriage. I don't recall anymore what behavior I wanted changed, but I do remember that it worked and how it worked.

So, just to make this explanation more concrete, let's say it was about my ex-husband's lack of kindness or patience toward me. Anytime I found myself thinking about or reflecting on situations where he had been impatient, or even on scenarios in the future where he might be impatient, I shifted my focus to imagining him being patient with me in those situations.

So anytime I thought of his impatience, I changed it to thinking he was very patient with me. After just a few weeks, I noticed that he had become more patient with me. What I had focused on had actually become my daily experience.

Did I change him? I don't think that's what happened. What actually took place is that I started triggering in him patience rather than impatience. Whether this happens through subtle communication, unconscious expectations, or a deeper connection between people, I found that changing what I expected also changed what I experienced. It's as though I stopped pulling impatience out of him and instead began inviting patience.

That experience taught me something I have seen repeated over and over again. Whether we're interacting with people, waiting in line at a store, or facing everyday challenges, our expectations quietly influence how we experience life.

Years ago, when I often drove long distances, I would, at the beginning of the trip, envision a huge bubble of safety around me and my vehicle. And since I figured I might as well share the goodness, I imagined that for one mile all around me was safety, so that included people ahead and behind me and also people on the other side of the two-lane highway.

What I realized with time was this: When I was driving, there would be about a quarter-mile distance between me and the cars ahead and behind me. I was driving in a bubble where I was the only vehicle. Occasionally, a wave of cars would overtake me and pass, and once again I would be in my safety bubble.

Now, the fascinating thing about this experiment was that as soon as we switched drivers and the other person in the car started driving, all of a sudden we were in the midst of traffic, impatient drivers, and people cutting us off.

What had changed? Different driver. Different expectations.

Don't believe me? Try it. But you have to believe for it to work, and that's the tricky part. You might say something like, "I'm willing to believe this." Don't say you're willing to try it. Say you're willing to believe it, even if just for a while.

Programming Your Inner Computer

We use the power of our minds to create or attract what we desire by focusing on what we want rather than on what we don't.

So many of us go around bemoaning the lack of whatever in our life: lack of time, lack of love, lack of money. The more we focus on what we lack, the more we feed it with life energy. The more we activate our magnet for the very situation we don't want.

Our brain is a computer of sorts, an organic computer, not made of nuts and bolts but made of living matter. We get to program it every day with our thoughts, our expectations, and what we declare as "how things are."

Every repeated thought becomes another line of programming. Every expectation becomes another instruction. Eventually we stop consciously choosing our responses because we're simply running yesterday's programming.

If you say that the world is an evil place, then you've just programmed your brain, and thus your life, to expect the experience of evil events and people. If you keep telling yourself that everything is getting worse, you've just programmed your life to attract, or at least notice, only those things that are getting worse.

Richard Bach, in his book Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah, wrote, "Argue for your limitations and, sure enough, they are yours."

In other words, if you keep saying you can't do something, or you're not smart enough, or always get depressed, or always catch a cold, or anything else in that vein, you are arguing for your limitations. You are stating them not only as facts about your past, but you are programming them into your future.

I've written before about the danger of the word "always" when used in a negative projection: always tired, always sick, always late...

The word "always" quietly tells your subconscious that this isn't just today's experience. It becomes part of your identity. Once something becomes part of what you have declared your life to be, your mind begins looking for evidence that it's true.

By making these statements, we keep programming our mental computer to repeat that very outcome. Or another way to look at it is that you've charged your internal magnet with that energy and, as the saying goes, "like attracts like." Those very situations become what you are pulling toward yourself.

The Good News

The good news is that whatever we've done or are doing can be stopped and reversed. We need to become aware of our words, our thoughts, and our expectations because they empower those very events in our future.

"Argue for your limitations and, sure enough, they're yours."

Be conscious of what you feed your mind and your belief system. Be aware of how you're programming yourself for certain situations.

As I stated in my earlier example with my first husband, our expectations even affect what happens with the people around us. We draw out of them behavior that matches what we expect. We're like little walking, talking magnets that attract what we've programmed ourselves to notice and experience.

Always rejected? Always ignored? Always facing angry people? Always disappointed by life?

These may simply be programs you've accepted, consciously or not, that are now running the automatic processes of your life.

I have a friend who often says that "something always goes wrong" and in his life, that statement appears to be true. I've stopped trying to correct him, but I cringe every time I hear him say it because I know that he is charging his magnet to pull toward himself that very thing. Yet since everyone has free will, we each have authority over our own life and what we declare to be true for ourselves.

Our minds are super powerful. We must program them correctly to achieve the results we desire. It's like they say about computers: "garbage in, garbage out".

The same is true for the human mind. If we put garbage thoughts and garbage expectations into our mind, we will get back exactly what we would expect: garbage. It's so simple it's almost mind-blowing.

We've all been programmed, since childhood and even in the womb, in countless ways. Our job now is to examine our beliefs, our thoughts, and our expectations, and only keep those that are for our highest good and that create well-being and inner peace.

Choosing What to Believe

We don't have to accept every thought that runs through our mind. I read something the other day to the effect that we don't have to change everything our mind thinks, or, harder yet, stop thoughts from taking place. We simply have to stop believing them, or choose which ones to believe.

So the next time your brain tells you that you can't do something for whatever limiting reason it gives you, call its bluff. Tell it that it's wrong. Tell it that you can, and will, create a better life for yourself, that you can and will create joy, inner peace, and happiness in your day-to-day experiences, and that your hopes and dreams can come true. Show it that it's not the boss of you or your life.

The greatest power of the mind is not that it thinks. It's that you can choose which thoughts you are willing to believe, and which then become your truth.

Choose thoughts that strengthen you rather than diminish you. Choose expectations that open doors rather than close them. Every thought that passes through your mind is an invitation, not a command. You get to decide which ones deserve your belief and your support, and in doing so, you begin creating the life you truly want.

About The Author

Marie T. Russell is the founder of InnerSelf Magazine (founded 1985). She also produced and hosted a weekly South Florida radio broadcast, Inner Power, from 1992-1995 which focused on themes such as self-esteem, personal empowerment, and well-being. Her articles focus on transformation and reconnecting with our own inner source of joy and creativity.

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Article Recap:

The power of your mind lies not only in the thoughts it produces, but in the thoughts you choose to believe. By becoming aware of your expectations, self-talk, and repeated mental patterns, you can stop reinforcing what you do not want and begin creating more peace, confidence, and possibility in your daily life.

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